Playing hard to get, or impossible to get?
What do you do when someone tries to hit on you?
Flirt? Turn your attention elsewhere?
For some Singaporeans, men specifically, they just act completely disinterested.
This is according to a Singapore Management University (SMU) researcher Mr Norman Li, who said they tend to play "impossible to get".
He said: "There tends to be not much indication of interest or if there is, there is too much of an indication."
Mr Li was is one of the co-authors of a study that found that playing hard to get is a dating strategy many men and women adopt to seem more desirable.
The study, reported in the European Journal of Personality, identified 58 strategies commonly used by men and women to play hard to get.
Here are the 10 most popular "strategies" used:
1. Act confident
2. Talk to others
3. Withhold sex
4. Act sarcastic but friendly
5. Superficial conversation
6. Make others work to get them
7. Give accidental physical contact
8. Be unpredictable
9. Keep conversation short
10. Make others chase
While both men and women play this game, women are more likely to play hard to get - and be successful at it too.
Apparently, men who play hard to get run the risk of losing their prospective mate to another man whereas when women do the same, it increases their desirability and encourages men to show a higher level of commitment to them.
Co-author of the study Mr Peter Jonason, who's from the University of Western Sydney, said: "Men can act aloof and withhold contact and even withhold sex to increase a woman's interest in them but there are risks involved because women tend to have a lot of male suitors and often if you deny attention to a particular woman, you might lose out on that mating opportunity."
So, what are the best strategies to entice the opposite sex?
Mr Jonason said: "You have to show interest while simultaneously showing 'Hey I'm really busy, I'm a hot commodity'."
"Eagerness, especially for women, turns people off."
Both professors however, advised applying discretion when using the tactics.
Mr Jonason said: "Playing hard to get can easily degrade into the impression that this person is rude, and admittedly everyone kind of wants someone who wants them too."
- wong chee tat :)
